Trainwreck

I know, I know - I should never leave any of my friends alone at a bar. I realize that most of the time I'm the responsible one - pulling the plug when things start to get out of hand. Well this time I couldn't stay. I had to go to work (yes, at night). So I left. Twelve hours later...

I lost my bag missed my dentist appointment and hold no id i may be a loser

I seriously wonder how some people make it through the day...

Dream State

Dreams... Whether you subscribe to Freud or Gestalt - we all have them. But sometimes a dream is just a dream... that is until you tell a friend about your brain's nocturnal forays into your subconscious.

Dude! In my dream i walked in on your sex dream!

Dude. I'm never sharing again (unless, obviously it's on the internet)....How mortifying...

Target Practice

OK. So your friends go out for a nice evening of quiet drinks and fun. But inevitably it turns into keggers and handstands, and someone poking an eye out. Some people just shouldn't drink and play with projectiles. (Names will be changed to protect the innocent, but mostly the drunk and stupid)

[Rocky] just stabbed me in the vagina with darts

Ummm... I don't even know how to respond to that.

Million Dollar Miyagi

Who hasn't taken up boxing these days? All the celebs are doing it. So when I asked a friend how his boxing lessons went at Sports Club LA , here's the text I got.

There has not been a whipping like that since the cobra kai chased daniel from the halloween dance

He's sooo Ralph Macchio (but without the high-waist jeans)

Losing Streak

Oh the humanity!..... Not that I'm a Mets fan or a Nats fan - but when the Nats start their second season at home with a losing streak, someone is gonna say somethin' about it.

Ur mets and their bunting can lick my cat

Did that sound unnecessarily dirty to you? I thought baseball was a family oriented sport? Hmmm....

Go Nats!

This one came in on opening game day of the Washington Nationals. Apparently Nats fans had a lot of time on their hands.

I came to this game w/ my bf & 8 of his buds & they have all disappeared. Fuck them, im gonna make out w/ a season tix holder

If this is how the season starts....

Ok Here Goes...

Remember when hardly anyone in the US knew what text messages were? (OMG as if...)
I had friends in London who couldn't go 10 minutes without sending a text - much less an entire day.

Two years later we FINALLY (what slackasses!) caught up. And now, as if by some telephonic Alexander Graham Bell voodoo magic - no one I know can get along without them.

It's actually better than talking to someone on the phone. A commitment-free communication zone! Suddenly you're texting everyone, all the time; to meet at the movies, to meet for coffee, to go bar hopping. And then (oh the horror)... the complications - texting the wrong person, sex texting, and drunk texting.

I have great friends (whose names will be changed to protect the innocent) - and they've sent me all of the above.
So what's the point of sending a text if you can't share it with the world.

So here goes......