Time Travel

From time to time, I like to send out what I like to call "The Bat Signal". It's my perfectly short template "Where u at?" text that I send when I need to find someone. But it doesn't do me any good if no one answers...

Unless, of course, you're one of my friends, who answers a text FIVE days later. (Names and places will be changed to protect the drunk and stupid.)

[Union]...Just broke a wine glass...[2nd St] and [Union].

Umm...I'm sitting right next to you.

Baby on Board!

OK. It's well known that I have a number of bartender friends. ( I don't know how that could have happened.) And as we all know, bartenders have a great "social" life. The hazards of the job include meeting and "going out" with a lot of people. So when I get a text like this it stops me in my tracks.

Just found out that im going to be a dad!

Umm... What.... Which chick was it? The Greek? The Mexican? The Russian? ......Congratulations?

April's Fool!

Wha?.. Dude! That ain't even right...I was about to buy yo' baby mama a present.